I don't like this dog anymore

I hate that sentence. Yes, I am talking about owner surrender. And this post will be pretty preachy so I apologize in advance.  I do hope that you will not only listen but also help fend off the ignorance.

I am angry, and disappointed in humans who come up with the stupidest of reasons to 'give back' their dogs. This particular bout of anger stems from a recent story a friend told me about how she came in contact with these 'surrenderrers' and what their attitude was like - toward the dog and then toward her for trying to help. I don't wish to shame them in this post but I do want to highlight a few things one must do before they decide that 'the dog is bad'.

1. The dog is never bad. You just need to teach them what to do and what not to do. A simple Internet search on "Positive Reinforcement" is what you need. Dogs never do anything to intentionally anger you. You just need to tell them what does and what doesn't.

2. They need to expend energy. If they chewed up the sofa while you were gone, you should probably have exercised them before you left and left them a stuffed Kong to be busy with while you were away. They were bored, probably even anxious about you leaving, and they had energy to expend. Tiring them out and keeping them distracted discourages this boredom and anxiety.  If they chew in your presence, one firm NO in a low voice like a growl, is enough. No screaming, no shouting, no drama. If you have an explosive temper, learn to control it. It's part of growing up. (Gosh I am angry today, aren't I ? )

3. You need obedience training. Yes, you, not the dog.  It is really more for you. For you to understand how to train them. I learned through my first behavioral training to make my dog take me seriously when I need him to. The biggest problem I faced as a new parent was to not speak to him as a person. "Kahlua.. please could you not chew on the comforter.. i love you .. " .. Wrong! Sharp "NO". Job done. He even comes over to say sorry. The classes will teach you how to use the pup's food or play motivation to teach them commands like "Sit" or "Stay" .. or even "Give me a hug!"

4. Regular checkups - I cannot stress this enough. Annual (atleast) for adults and as and when puppy shots are needed, for the little ones. A stitch in time, does save nine.

5. Heartworm Meds - this is not optional. Heartworms may be treatable but they are the quintessential example for prevention is better than cure. One monthly pill. That is all. It could save his life.

6. Flea and Tick Meds - would you like to be constantly itchy? Would you like the possibility of  having a disease transmitted to you every time you went for a walk in the woods? I thought so. Get the meds.

7. Too many kids & too less time & now a puppy ? This is a tough one, but not impossible. Remember, you chose to bring the puppy into your life. If you did so for your kid, you should have read the fine print that you would need to do all the work. It is true. And it is not anyone's fault. But, you should know what you are walking into when you do this. Anyway, Two year old ? Teach them to put food in the dog's bowl. Eight year old - they can let him out in the yard to conduct business. Twelve and above - short walks can be their responsibility and the Sixteen year old can even drive him to the park and take the Thirteen year old along (please check your local dog park's minimum entry age- yes, they do have them).  I don't claim that this is easy. I admire you for doing this if you do. But all I am saying is the dog is a responsibility too - one that you chose to have. So let him be part of the pack. If you can't, don't dump him at the shelter. He will be put to sleep. Find him a good home, and keep him with you and happy until then. It does not take too much.

8. This dog is much too large and I can't handle him anymore. Really? Did you not know what he was when you got him? No. I adopted him. Not an excuse. The shelter will give you some approximation of what the dog is, and usually a Chiuwawa will not grow into a Great Dane. Yes, 8-10 lbs might fluctuate either way but you know what range of size you are bringing home. Did you look at the paws when he was a puppy? That should give you a clue. So suck it up and treat it like the joy it really is. Further most larger dogs are calmer, less talkative and need less bathroom trips.

9. You will not believe I have actually heard this. "He poops too much". Noone said to expect little silver pellets. Grow up. Get a bag and pick it up.

All they need is a little devotion, a little time, a little love and a little training. If you think you cannot financially, emotionally, or mentally provide this, do not get ahead of yourself and bite off more than you can chew.

Puppies of the Humankind

This is all over the internet, but I still don't think it's talked about enough, so I decided to write about it. And I have been meaning to for a while but I guess the topic found it's way into the depths of my subconscious until a little girl, with outstretched arms, and all the love in the world to offer, came charging toward Kahlua yesterday bellowing "Puppppyyyyyyyy". Hmm.. familiar much ?

Kahlua believes, that the solution to all things scary is to hide behind Mom. This makes me one of the more fortunate fur parents. Do you have a dog that would react differently ? How do you deal with such situations?

Children maybe God's gift to mankind, or God in disguise, or little angels or whatever..but the truth is they move unpredictably, at high speeds,  emit loud sounds and are often found zooming around on these loud, strangely shaped monsters with wheels. Heck, they scare me, why wouldn't they scare a dog ?

If you are a parent (the non fur kind), I request you, please, teach your children to respect a dog's space. I know some parents who do a wonderful job of this. Their kids come up to me and say "May I pet the puppy?" first. We take it from there and these kids never, ever, enter his personal space. They even understand that shelter puppies often have fears that we as humans cannot comprehend. I've met kids who time and again have tried to befriend my baby but they do it in baby steps. They accept when he chooses to hide under a table when he sees them. They even feel a little bad, but they still understand. They understand because either they have dogs of their own, or their parents explained  to them to approach with caution, if they must indeed approach and always ask the human first.

On the other hand, I've encountered kids who notice that their bike or the little scooter that they so confidently whizz by on, is scaring my pup, and they choose to come closer and at higher speeds, to gain some sort of silly thrill out of a poor creature's fear. This is when I need to step in and request the child to please wait while we leave the scene and go the opposite way. Who is raising these kids like this ? And why ? (The problem in this situation, in my opinion, is bigger than 'just' thriving on the 'pleasure' of scaring an already scared puppy.)

My point is that an animal's space needs to be respected as much as a human's. Just because we are human does not mean we have some sort of natural right of way. Infact, we have the more complex emotions in place to actually 'yield' right of way to those more in need. Unfortunately, not many people actually think like this and then accidents happen. What would you do if I sat by you, for an hour, and kept jabbing you with a pencil. You'd go Hulk on me, correct ? What would you do if some unfamiliar person came charging at you screaming unintelligible words? That's exactly how a dog feels when his/her personal space is invaded. Let's break the notion that all dogs are natural nannies. We need to recognize that it is not true and children and dogs need to be introduced to each other in a positive environment. The dog needs to associate the child with happiness, and not fear. We respect that there are humans who are scared of dogs. Why can't it be accepted that it can be the other way round too ?


I don't mean to blame anyone or sound like some self righteous animal freak. These are things that I did not know before I adopted Kahlua. So I understand that some people and some kids don't know that they are scaring the dog. And if they did, they would check their actions. Hence the post. I want to talk about this more. I want this to be spoken about more. I want to spread this message as far and as wide as I can. So please help me.. please use the share buttons below this post.. you might just be preventing yet another puppy of the human kind from being hurt, and a puppy of the puppy kind from suffering the consequences.

 

 

Image Credit: http://sassystickers.com/images/yin-yang-pawprint-handprint.jpg

Weekend Wags:Mistakes of an Instant Mother

You know that giant switch you have, buried deep in your gut? Wait, you do? Because I didn't know I had one. Until a small, furry, 10 week old labradane came along and took charge of my 'motherboard'. (Sorry, the bad jokes are a result of being a nerd for way too long now. Can't teach an old dog new tricks. Or can you ? hmm.. #FuturePostMaterial).

I did not grow  up with any petst5  (pets - sorry, Kahlua just threw his Kong at my keyboard.). I knew nothing about Dogs. To the shameful extent, that I did not even know chocolate was bad for them. (Don't worry, nothing bad happened.) But that's my point - everyday you learn something new.

However there are days, when you look back and say - I will do this differently with my next one! #InstantMother And I think, today is one such day.

When Kahlua came home, it took me but a few days to realize, he was a different puppy. He was not your typical, launch yourself at anything strange that runs and chase it, puppy. He was a scared puppy, and I was a clueless new mom. Yes, I had some very wonderful, experienced, helpful people around who guided me and I am ever so thankful for them. (Karan- My strongest support system, Sambuddha - grew up with what 10-12 Fox Terriers in India, Nadine - had Jenny Dog in Germany, Angela- my magic horse woman. I had not discovered my other wonderful magic woman - Michelle of Doggie Dayz just yet).

My natural course of action was to protect him, from everything. #InstantMother. The only times we went out - were to do business. I was very lucky when it came to house training - he trained himself. I had nothing to do with it. We did not really go to the park. I provided him with no stimulating experiences. This was my first major mistake with him. He stayed in his shell. I stayed feeling like the worst mother ever. To the extent, that I'd  started doubting whether the life I was giving him was in anyway better than what he had at Best Friend's Dog Rescue (the rescue where I adopted him from).  I seriously felt that at the shelter, the poor pup atleast had an open space to run around in, and his sisters for company, rather than being in an apartment with us.


One day I decided - a trip to the dog park was in order - it was a disaster. But, it was a disaster in my mind. It was a stride of progress for Kahlua. He witnessed other dogs playing, other people with their dogs and just outdoors in general. However, he mostly stayed under the park bench. Or hid behind me. I hugged him and cuddled him. In my mind, I was comforting him, telling him it was ok. All would be well.  #InstantMother. This was my next major mistake with him.

When we walked outside the apartment, he shied away from everyone. I failed to understand. People loved the new little black puppy. But he wanted nothing to do with them. He peeked at them from behind me, worried. If he did not want to go in a particular direction, would sit stubbornly, in his tracks. He even quivered with fear. I had no idea what to do. Bewildered, I would just pick him up, and carry him around like a baby. #InstantMother. Huge mistake. He was going to grow into a massive dog! But we would deal with that later, right ? Even bigger mistake.

Every pup is different. It was my misconception that puppy equals always playful and crazy. It was my misconception that all puppies rather be outside than inside the house. It was my misconception that all puppies are rambunctious and will chase after everything. Usually, the problem is at our end of the leash.

Kahlua is one of the most intelligent people I know. He is smarter than most human beings I know. He is cautious, and honestly, I am grateful that he doesn't chase after anything and everything that moves, launch himself into poisonous plants, eat suspicious things outdoors (indoors? different story). I am even grateful he is wary of strange people. Outdoors, he will approach with caution, or not approach at all.  (indoors? different story)

It took me a long time to accept that my pup, is an introvert. And I don't know why, because I myself am almost exactly like this. He is absolutely happy with people he knows and loves, but takes time to warm up to new people. It is important to overcome one's misconceptions, and accept your pup for who they are. Just like you would, a child. This does not mean I did not love him then, and I do now. Absolutely not! This means, I was upset, thinking that I was doing a bad job, and my baby was unhappy. I was upset he didn't play freely like other dogs I knew. But this was my problem. I realized in time,  that we can find our own fun stuff to do. Yes, we need to get over our fear of all things outdoors, but we are happier playing indoors, there is nothing wrong with that. If we want to just hang out with each other at the dog park on certain days, and play with the other puppies on other days, that is fine too. There are no rules to happiness. This is our life together. There are no rules for fun!

What would I have done differently ?  exposed him to many more new experiences than I did at the puppy stage. Brought him everywhere with me like I almost always do now. Taken him to friends' places. Taken him on trails. Taken him to daycare. Taken him to parks (dog and human) to play fetch. Just.. anything that would be new and stimulating!

What else ?

When he showed fear, the right thing to do,  would have been, just to ignore it . Give him time. Walk around the park and let him follow me around. Let him sniff around, and let him realize, that this is all good. Everything is ok. I should not have pawositively reinforced the fear that he was already feeling. Not only at the park, but in all 'walks' of his life (quite literally).

When he parked his obstinate behind, as a puppy, I should have kept going in the direction I had originally intended. Me stopping, talking to him, picking him up was a signal to him that:

1.  He could control me. He was the pack leader.
2.  That there was indeed something to be scared about (if he was doing it out of fear).

Almost two years have passed now, and he is much much more confident, and his fear almost gone. He does like going to the park a lot, chase other dogs who are chasing tennis balls and distract them, walk on trails, go to restaurants and to the beach. He loves going with us to parks where there are large open spaces and play fetch. God knows he LOVES playing fetch inside the house (we don't encourage this for the sake of our neighbors), chasing the laser pointer in the patio etc. He runs confidently off leash alongside his human, and very well on leash too. He absolutely loves going to day care. At one of the boarding places, they tell me he loves playing in the pool. I try and expose him to as many new experiences as possible.

My fur baby is a smart, loving, playful pup. He used to live in a shell just after I rescued him. But just as soon as I learned to be at ease with myself, he started crawling out of it and turning into a pure goofball - and that's a great thing.  As long as he is healthy,  happy and well behaved, everything is a good thing.